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Portal 2 “Chell” Limited Edition Action Figure

Comments Off | This entry was posted on May 08 2013
Portal 2 Chell Action Figure
Portal 2 Chell Action Figure   Portal 2 Chell Action Figure
Portal 2 Long Fall Boots Valve Socks


The life of an Aperture Science test subject is not an easy one.

Between the nearly unsolvable spacial puzzles, dangerous sentry turrets, and a murderous AI that’s full of contempt, there are plenty of reasons to be stressed out.

But somehow Chell puts up with it all, and doesn’t even utter one word of complaint! Now that’s a woman who is dedicated to science.


Features:

  • • 7″ Tall, Fully Articulated
  • • Includes Light Up LED Portal Gun
  • • Limited to 15,000 Pieces



  • Limited Edition Figure ………………$24.99 

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Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Jan 08 2013
Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray
Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray   Portal 2 Companion Cube Ice Tray

You’re at an Aperture Science reunion party that GLaDOS is throwing; it’s just you and a bunch of robots, a total circuit-fest. There’s no food or drinks and nobody is talking to anyone, at least in any audible language you can understand. So, it’s basically a silent gathering of robots and you’re standing alone in the corner.

You found yourself some water, which was surprisingly difficult, but it’s warm. Hot, actually, because it came from a cooling tank for the incinerator. The incinerator reminds you of your old friend Companion Cube. While you’re reminiscing, GLaDOS calls out and says she has a surprise for you. She leads you to the freezer and shows you something that brings a tear to your eyes: a tray of Companion Ice Cubes. Your drink won’t scald you any longer and you finally have a friend at the party.


Features:

  • • Ice cube tray makes tiny,
  •    icy Companion Cubes
  • • Each tray makes 10
  •    Companion Cube ice cubes
  • • 10.75″ x 4.5″ x 1.5″
  • • Material: Food-safe silicone
  •    rubber


  • Companion Cube Ice Tray….. $12.99

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Tell a friend to chill! 


Aperture Warning Sign Coasters

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Dec 14 2012
Portal 2 Warning Sign Coasters Portal 2 Warning Sign Coasters Portal 2 Warning Sign Coasters


Aperture Labs test subjects have a lot of stress in their daily routine. Wouldn’t it be nice if there was one less thing they had to worry about?

Well great news! Obsessing over beverage condensation ruining your delicate furniture is a thing of the past with our Aperture Science Warning Sign Coasters!

Not only will these durable ceramic coasters defend your coffee table with the vigilance of a sentry turret, but the eight different warning signs imprinted on each one will give you a gentle reminder of the hardships you’re sure to experience in tomorrow’s round of tests!


Features:

  • • Set of 8 ceramic coasters
  • • Each coaster is 3.5″ x 3.5″
  • • Comes with a black storage
  •    container when not in use
  • • Cork padding protects your
  •    surfaces
  • Coasters may have small imperfections



  • Ceramic Coaster Set…………….$17.99


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Alert fellow test subjects! 


Customizable Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Dec 07 2012
Portal 2 Aperture Science Customizable Portal Gun Device Portal 2 Aperture Science Customizable Portal Gun Device
Portal 2 Aperture Science Customizable Portal Gun Device   Customizeable Portal Gun Device Kit
Portal 2 Aperture Science Customizable Portal Gun Device  


Sick of that painfully long commute? Tired of running upstairs to use the can? Is reaching into the fridge to grab a soda a chore?

Well not to worry friends, because all of your quantum tunneling problems will be solved with the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device!

And now with our latest model, the "Customizable Device Kit" you get a a blank white device with all the extras you’ll need to create an Atlas, p-Body or Chell version
(or create your own!)


Features:

  • • 1:1 Scale Replica
  • • Portal Firing Sound Effects
  • • Includes 4 Aperture Decals
  • • Includes 4 Plastic Stripes
  •    with magnetic backing
  • • Four light up LED color options
  •    (red, orange, purple & blue)
  • Requires 3 “C” Batteries (not included)
  • Only Available for U.S. Shipping
  • Ships UPS Ground


  • Aperture Portal Device………… $149.99

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Portal 2 Test Chamber Squares Scarf

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Dec 05 2012
Portal 2 Test Chamber Squares Scarf Portal 2 Test Chamber Squares Scarf
Portal 2 Test Chamber Squares Scarf   Portal 2 Test Chamber Squares Scarf


This Aperture Science Test Chamber Square scarf is a fantastic way to keep test subjects warm and cozy while in the cold, sterilized test chambers that they will be forever confined to.

However, if you find that you are not one of those poor souls, this scarf is sure to keep you warm outside of the chambers, where you can remember their sacrifices for science.



  • Soft Acrylic Fiber Scarf………………$19.99


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Ships within 1-3 business days

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Test those share buttons!  


Weighted Companion Cube Tin Lunch Box

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Nov 21 2012
Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Metal Lunch Box


You know what’s terrible? Being alone, and being hungry. Have no fear, we have the solution for not one but both of those problems. Introducing the Aperture Science Companionship Inducing Food Carrying Device, or more simply the Companion Cube Lunchbox.

While it won’t actually warm your food, its radiant simplicity will fill you with warmth in your heart.


Features:

  • • This lunchbox will actually hold
  •   food in it. Amazing!
  • • Official Portal 2 product!


  • Tin Lunch Box………………………$17.99


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Weighted Companion Cube Plush

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Nov 12 2012
Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Plushie Plush
Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Plushie Plush   Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Plushie Plush
Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Plushie Plush   Portal 2 Weighted Companion Cube Plushie Plush

Ever since we moved to our new warehouse we’ve been wondering why there was a Vital Apparatus Vent sticking out of the ceiling.

Then the other day I happened to be standing on the giant red button in the middle of the room, and wouldn’t you know it, Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cubes started dropping out!

The thing is, I have no idea what to do with these things! They’re pretty soft and might be good for holding down any switches or buttons you have around your home and/or test chamber?


Features:

  • • Two sizes, 6"x 6" or 4"x 4"
  • • So very soft
  • • Will never threaten to stab you
  • • In fact, cannot speak



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Alert fellow test subjects! 


Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Oct 18 2012
Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures
Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures   Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures
Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures   Portal 2 Blind Box Sentry Turret Figures
Portal 2 Turrets

Cave Johnson here! Apparently the boys down in product development asked for some customer feedback, and while my first instinct was to ignore it entirely, they assured me it was worth a look.

And what was the most frequent complaint? That we’ve only been producing one single style of drab, plain white sentry turrets!

So thanks to your vague input, we’ve created over 25 new styles of designer sentry turret for you to purchase! Including Zebra, Camo, Sunburst, Hot Rod and… Table? Who’s idea was that?

And be sure to collect them all! Seriously, Aperture needs the cash.

Cave Johnson, we’re done here.


Features:

  • • Contains one random turret
  • • Over 25 different styles
  • • Guns come either open or closed
  • • There are even secret designs!



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Ships within 1-4 business days






Alert fellow test subjects! 


“Long Fall Boot” Knee High Socks

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Jul 18 2012
Portal 2 Long Fall Boots Valve Socks Portal 2 Long Fall Boots Valve Socks Portal 2 Long Fall Boots Valve Socks

Hello investors, Cave Johnson here!

If you’re familiar with Aperture Science, you’ve probably seen our patented Long Fall Boots in action.

But did you know that on top of making our quantum tunneling devices safer and more efficient, they’re extremely stylish as well?

I sure didn’t! But Caroline told me so, and I always trust her opinion on fashion!

So with that in mind, I sent our design team to develop this all new consumer product, the Long Fall Socks! Finally you too can look like an Aperture test subject, without the hassle of wearing actual protective safety gear.

So pick up a pair today! Just don’t try jumping off your roof with them, because my lawyers advise against that.

Cave Johnson, we’re done here.



  • Socks (Size 4-10)……………….. $11.99

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Alert fellow test subjects! 


Portal 2 Talking Turret Action Figure

Comments Off | This entry was posted on Apr 23 2012
Portal 2 Talking Turret Action Figure
Portal 2 Talking Turret Action Figure   Portal 2 Talking Turret Action Figure


If there’s one thing theoretical science has taught us, it’s that you can never be too safe.

For that reason we took some
time out of our extremely busy development cycle to create the Talking Turret Action Figure!

Of course by "action" we mean that it sits there, patiently waiting for a target to enter its line of sight, but nonetheless this scientifically engineered replica of every test subject’s best friend will provide hours of fun with it’s five pre-programmed catch phrases
and novelty retail packaging!

So don’t delay! Pick one up for your desk, cubicle or designated sleep chamber today!


Features:

  • • Bright red LED light
  • • Real turret sounds play when
  •    you press its side button
  • • Speaks five different phrases
  • Uses one CR2032 battery (included)



  • 3.5" Talking Figure……….$25 $12.99

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Alert fellow test subjects! 




 
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